The Old Jokes are the Best

[foxes1]

On entering the dressing room after yesterdays game, Capello sees a steaming turd on the tiles. He shouts, "who's shit on the floor ?" Heskey raises his hand and says "me boss....but i'm good in the air".

[surfinjim]

Police have recovered a body of a man from the Thames. The man was wearing suspender belt and stockings, lacy knickers, an England shirt, a plastic sheep on the end of his todger and a dildo shoved up his bum.


To avoid embarrasment to the family, Police have removed the England shirt.




Jim
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26th December 1979

Bolder, Blackhall, Williamson, Smith, Pickering, Hornsby, King, Johnson, McCulloch, Mellor, Curran.

Scorers; Mellor, King, Curran, Smith (pen)

GODS EVERY ONE OF THEM!

[James]

Bovril are brining out a new cube, the packaging is white with a red cross the cube will be called "The Laughing Stock"
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Maidstone/Tottenham fan

[James]

Police statement from 29th June:

We are appealing for witnesses after an elderly black man had several shots fired at him from close range and was left badly shaken in what is being described as a race related incident. Several Germans were thought to be responsible and the victim a Mr David James of Portsmouth was taken to hospital with mile shock. It is alleged that at the time of the shootings ten bystanders looked on and did nothing to help Mr James
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Maidstone/Tottenham fan

[James]

David Blaine is said to be devastated as his record for standing in a box doing nothing was eclipsed by Wayne Rooney's World Cup performance
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Maidstone/Tottenham fan

[James]

Future England games will be moved to the adult gay channel as the sight of 11 aholes being hammered for 90 minutes has proved too much for the BBC and ITV.
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Maidstone/Tottenham fan