Football Programmes Centre

Eck · Joined: 25 Aug 2012 Posts: 2548

Rangers legend John Greig went to see Bobby Lennox of Celtic in hospital after he'd broken his leg in an old firm game. There was a reporter there who asked - When did you realise your leg was broken? Lennox replied - When I saw him running towards me. Laughing

nozer · Joined: 24 Mar 2011 Posts: 1109 Location: Liverpool

The origanel of this old chesnut amuses me,
Ilisha Scott (Liverpool) was walking down Rodney Street in Liverpool City center when he spotted Dixie Dean approching on the oppsite side of the road Dixie acknoleged him with a nod of the head and Scott dived into the middle of the road.
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"Some people say Wolves best days are gone i prefer to think the best are yet to come" Derek Dougan on joining Wolves from Leicester City 1967.

Eck · Joined: 25 Aug 2012 Posts: 2548

Another from John Greig. In Rangers ECWC winning season.In the away tie against Torino Jock Wallace said to Greig. There's the new Italian wonderkid an 18 year old midfielder,I want you to take him out of the game. Greig replied - Do you want me to put him out of this game or out of the game for good?

oldbolt · Joined: 06 Jun 2009 Posts: 434

There was funny moment on Saturday when David Ngog was sent off.
Someone shouted "You're a racist, referee"

sharrowblade · Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:21 pm Post subject:

After a somewhat late saturday night after a day at the races, once ran out for a local sunday league game in Sheffield, when after two minutes making a save, i felt that that my shirt felt very uncomfortable. It was at this point I discovered I'd left the coat hanger in it. Homer

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A Sheffield United Programme guide

nozer · Joined: 24 Mar 2011 Posts: 1109 Location: Liverpool

PLaying for my local Church when i was in my late 50s , i asked the ref streight after i kicked off how long was left to play ,he found this quite ammusing .
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"Some people say Wolves best days are gone i prefer to think the best are yet to come" Derek Dougan on joining Wolves from Leicester City 1967.

sharrowblade · Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:25 pm Post subject:

Many years ago, during a junior game on a late december sunday afternoon, in very poor light.

After a scramble in the goalmouth, the ball was cleared off the line and the rather 'rotund' and frankly unfit referee, who was a full 30 yards away shouted no goal. The 14 year old centre forward who had been denied did not entirely agree, and began a conversation to the ref as the game continued.

14 year old 'Ref that was a goal'

Ref 'Listen son, if you had eaten more carrots when you were younger, you would have clearly seen that the ball didn't cross the line'

14 year old 'Listen ref, if you hadn't eaten as many big macs, you would have been up with play, and clearly seen that the ball had crossed the line'

Bravo!
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A Sheffield United Programme guide

Senior82 · Joined: 25 Nov 2008 Posts: 982 Location: Near Sheffield

Seeing Michael Ricketts playing for England.
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garyspain · Joined: 24 Mar 2010 Posts: 900

un-named player to Pat Patridge "what would you do if I called you a bastard ref?" - "I'd send you off"

"What would you do if I thought you were a bastard?" "Well what can I do your thoughts are your own" "OK Ref I think you are a bastard"

kenred · Joined: 23 Nov 2008 Posts: 396

Roker Park 1964 Sunderland v Manchester United FA Cup replay.Locked out after travelling up from Manchester.A massive crowd and when trying to climb over wall to get in ,police stopping us quite rightly ,a friend lost his shoes! Laughing

Later on he saw a big pile of shoes near the ground which for whatever reason had become detached from their owners,and ended up with a pair, right size ,but different colour!Never forget the evening ,as we ended up in a seafront pub in Seaburn ,and heard the match on radio .Bobby Charlton scoring in last minute to get a second replay @ Huddersfield Surprised

derby1884 · Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 6:26 pm Post subject:

Ernie Tagg.
An ex-Crewe player, he had set up his own milk round in the late 50s (ex-players had to find work in those days)
Crewe got in a bit of a pickle, had a few bad seasons………but Ernie was the man who delivered the milk to Gresty Road.

In ’64, they sacked their manager after another crap season.
Ernie delivered the milk that very morning.
The Chairman, rather desperate by now, met him as he did so and asked him if he fancied a go at the job.

Ernie did – but only on condition that he be allowed to continue delivering the milk between 5am and 8am!

Seems to have worked – a couple of years later, Crewe won promotion.
But Ernie continued to deliver the milk.

And so I wonder………was Benny Hill a Crewe fan? Did he hear of Ernie the footballing milkman?

And pen a song that became number one a few years later?
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seand · Joined: 07 Jan 2009 Posts: 839 Location: Dublin

Playing Sunday League a couple of years ago against a team that were constantly moaning at the ref, eventually he called their captain over and said 'if I wanted to listen to bitching and moaning I'd have stayed at home with the missus'!

garyspain · Joined: 24 Mar 2010 Posts: 900

Another funny one and a poster here is too modest to claim it.

Dundalk entertained Celtic in a friendly and the local programme seller (we'll call him seand) decided to say "Welcome to our country" to the visiting fans.

He had to stop when it started to dawn on them what it meant and he decided he liked his teeth the way they are.

Eck · Joined: 25 Aug 2012 Posts: 2548

I was at a junior game between Arthurlie and Pollok (junior is equivalent of non league in Scotland)
Pollok were attacking and the centre forward was screaming for the midfielder to play him in for a tap in. The midfielder however fell over unchallenged. The striker said, why did you not give me the pass? The midfielder said,I was just about to and my foot got stuck in a hole. Confused

seand · Joined: 07 Jan 2009 Posts: 839 Location: Dublin

garyspain wrote:

Another funny one and a poster here is too modest to claim it.

Dundalk entertained Celtic in a friendly and the local programme seller (we'll call him seand) decided to say "Welcome to our country" to the visiting fans.

He had to stop when it started to dawn on them what it meant and he decided he liked his teeth the way they are.

Yes, lots of fun to be had with Irish fans of British football. You can start by describing Celtic as British. You'll get strange looks if you have the temerity to ask a self-declared Irish 'United fan' which United they mean... Monaghan or Galway? Works equally well in southern England... 'I'm a big United fan'... 'really? Colchester or Southend?'

I was recently told about a guy who was such a huge Irish ManU fan that he went to see them 2 or 3 times a season- by that definition I explained I'm a huge fan of Cork City, Shamrock Rovers, St Pats, Sligo, Derry......