With Paulo gone...how are my other 2013 predictions going?

[sharrowblade]

Now that Di Canio has gone, it remains to be seen if any of my predictions for 2013-4 which I made in July come true.

July 2013

So what does 2013 hold for the football world. Well, here goes you heard it here first.

David Moyes, the new Manchester United manager, suffers a number of draws in the first half of the season as United fail to score any late goals. He suddenly realizes that he needs a bigger and stronger watch so he can constantly tap it and wave it the direction of the ref. This pays dividends and United romp to the title. Being Scottish and manager of Manchester United he automatically qualifies for a Knighthood.

At the Bridge, (Chelsea)there's an atmosphere as a moody Roman is unhappy at not having the world's biggest yacht anymore. Rumour has it that the biggest is now owned by some portuguese bloke. John Terry ruptures his groin, serves him right for messing about with that Christine Bleakley bird.
Rooney signs for £50 million, and launches new video game 'Pre-EvolutionSoccer'.

Arsenal finish runners up, as Wenger takes a gamble on Suarez. It pays off, as Suarez wins 32 penalties and takes gold from Tom Daley in the World Championships. Wenger never saw anything but praised Suarez for adding some bite to Arsenal's forward line.

Newcastle United sack Alan Pardew after winning their first three games, and appoint Chas and Dave as a dream team management. A week later they decide to join the French 2nd Division under the name NouveauChateau Royeme. Mike Ashley defends his decision by saying he just wanted to make the squad feel at home. The stadium is renamed the 'Je me rends' stadium and the club has a new flag, a white cross on a white background.

On merseyside, Liverpool, finish mid table. Brenden Rogers says defensively the Reds have never been better. Now that Carragher has left, there's no language barrier anymore.

Roberto Martinez finds its mission impossible at Everton. The only place to hide is behind, Fellani's haircut. He quits in january, and is replaced by Duncan Ferguson, the results are still shite but by god the Walton Road training sessions are terrific.

Spurs are top by seven points but decide to sell Bale to Real for 90 million. They don't win another game all season.

Mark Hughes works his magic and Stoke are relegated by Crimbo.

At Sunderland, after losing 3-0 to Hartlepool in the League Cup, Di canio storms onto the pitch to remonstrate with referee Lee Mason. Di Canio is red carded and sent to the stand, before he leaves he 'tombstones' Mason leaving the official unconscious.
In the subsequent FA Inquiry, the FA have no choice but to give Di Canio 'a special award for services to football'.

QPR's Tony fernandez defends the financial situation at Loftus Road, and confesses Winston Rubabe is the clubs highest earner. Later, its found that Rubabe is one of the Ball Boys.

Manchester City are relegated after Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed sinks all his money into a Nigerian 'Head and Shoulders' product. City are forced to field a team of juniors, and play their games at Stockport. On the positive side, the atmosphere is much better than at the Ettihad.

Norwich City regret signing Joey Barton. It all kicks off at the Players christmas Party when Delia overdoes it on the Sherry ' and tells the assembled canaries 'let's be avin yer'. Joey doesn't need a second invitation. Parole is denied.

Following Police advice, in an attempt to curb any potential crowd disturbances, the derby clashes between Cardiff and Swansea are moved from South Wales to more peaceful venues. Helmand Province and Syria

Hull City survive their first season back in the Prem, after claiming maximum points from their home games, but losing every away game. Steve Bruce pre-season prediction that . ‘Nobody will want to come to Hull’, proves to be justified, as even people who live in Hull don’t actually want to go to Hull.

The Chairman of Pompey supporters trust says the Club have had enough of people ‘Shitting on them’. Gus Poyet is appointed manager.

Fulham make a bid for Fernando Torres, but their valuation of two bags of maltesers and glass of dandelion and Burdock falls way short of Chelsea’s valuation. Al Fayed says ‘people said I was mad for paying 100,000 for a statue (of Micheal Jackson), and yet Chelsea want 50 million for their’s.

WBA finally sell Peter Odemchickenwingie , Steve Clarke says ‘we couldn’t afford to have a selfish, greedy, petulant individual in and around the club. Replacement Nicolas Anelka hands in transfer request after a month and is replaced by experienced centre forward Barry Swash.

Celtic decide to breakaway from the SPL citing the reason being that they needed to find stiffer competition. They join the Faroes Islands League and come fifth.

Aston Villa are beaten on penalties in the League Cup semi Final by Dagenham and Redbridge, which prompts Paul Lambert to declare that Villa were much better than the previous season against Bradford. ‘I’m proud we took them to penalties’


Not looking good are they
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A Sheffield United Programme guide

[manchesterunitedman1]

sharrowblade wrote:

Now that Di Canio has gone, it remains to be seen if any of my predictions for 2013-4 which I made in July come true. July 2013 So what does 2013 hold for the football world. Well, here goes you heard it here first. David Moyes, the new Manchester United manager, suffers a number of draws in the first half of the season as United fail to score any late goals. He suddenly realizes that he needs a bigger and stronger watch so he can constantly tap it and wave it the direction of the ref. This pays dividends and United romp to the title. Being Scottish and manager of Manchester United he automatically qualifies for a Knighthood. At the Bridge, (Chelsea)there's an atmosphere as a moody Roman is unhappy at not having the world's biggest yacht anymore. Rumour has it that the biggest is now owned by some portuguese bloke. John Terry ruptures his groin, serves him right for messing about with that Christine Bleakley bird. Rooney signs for £50 million, and launches new video game 'Pre-EvolutionSoccer'. Arsenal finish runners up, as Wenger takes a gamble on Suarez. It pays off, as Suarez wins 32 penalties and takes gold from Tom Daley in the World Championships. Wenger never saw anything but praised Suarez for adding some bite to Arsenal's forward line. Newcastle United sack Alan Pardew after winning their first three games, and appoint Chas and Dave as a dream team management. A week later they decide to join the French 2nd Division under the name NouveauChateau Royeme. Mike Ashley defends his decision by saying he just wanted to make the squad feel at home. The stadium is renamed the 'Je me rends' stadium and the club has a new flag, a white cross on a white background. On merseyside, Liverpool, finish mid table. Brenden Rogers says defensively the Reds have never been better. Now that Carragher has left, there's no language barrier anymore. Roberto Martinez finds its mission impossible at Everton. The only place to hide is behind, Fellani's haircut. He quits in january, and is replaced by Duncan Ferguson, the results are still shite but by god the Walton Road training sessions are terrific. Spurs are top by seven points but decide to sell Bale to Real for 90 million. They don't win another game all season. Mark Hughes works his magic and Stoke are relegated by Crimbo. At Sunderland, after losing 3-0 to Hartlepool in the League Cup, Di canio storms onto the pitch to remonstrate with referee Lee Mason. Di Canio is red carded and sent to the stand, before he leaves he 'tombstones' Mason leaving the official unconscious. In the subsequent FA Inquiry, the FA have no choice but to give Di Canio 'a special award for services to football'. QPR's Tony fernandez defends the financial situation at Loftus Road, and confesses Winston Rubabe is the clubs highest earner. Later, its found that Rubabe is one of the Ball Boys. Manchester City are relegated after Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed sinks all his money into a Nigerian 'Head and Shoulders' product. City are forced to field a team of juniors, and play their games at Stockport. On the positive side, the atmosphere is much better than at the Ettihad. Norwich City regret signing Joey Barton. It all kicks off at the Players christmas Party when Delia overdoes it on the Sherry ' and tells the assembled canaries 'let's be avin yer'. Joey doesn't need a second invitation. Parole is denied. Following Police advice, in an attempt to curb any potential crowd disturbances, the derby clashes between Cardiff and Swansea are moved from South Wales to more peaceful venues. Helmand Province and Syria Hull City survive their first season back in the Prem, after claiming maximum points from their home games, but losing every away game. Steve Bruce pre-season prediction that . ‘Nobody will want to come to Hull’, proves to be justified, as even people who live in Hull don’t actually want to go to Hull. The Chairman of Pompey supporters trust says the Club have had enough of people ‘Shitting on them’. Gus Poyet is appointed manager. Fulham make a bid for Fernando Torres, but their valuation of two bags of maltesers and glass of dandelion and Burdock falls way short of Chelsea’s valuation. Al Fayed says ‘people said I was mad for paying 100,000 for a statue (of Micheal Jackson), and yet Chelsea want 50 million for their’s. WBA finally sell Peter Odemchickenwingie , Steve Clarke says ‘we couldn’t afford to have a selfish, greedy, petulant individual in and around the club. Replacement Nicolas Anelka hands in transfer request after a month and is replaced by experienced centre forward Barry Swash. Celtic decide to breakaway from the SPL citing the reason being that they needed to find stiffer competition. They join the Faroes Islands League and come fifth. Aston Villa are beaten on penalties in the League Cup semi Final by Dagenham and Redbridge, which prompts Paul Lambert to declare that Villa were much better than the previous season against Bradford. ‘I’m proud we took them to penalties’ Not looking good are they

Oh I dont know besides the United one there are 3 that could well end up as u say-i think the City one is a cert! hahah
Been in a dark room since 5pm!-still whose next then!

[BAZZABAGGIES]

Lose to the Albion at your managers peril
The list of sackings after being beat by The Baggies are

Hughton
Avb
Micmac
De matteo
Di canio ..

[MATT RUSH]

Eey! By Gum ! Sharra, what do you do for an enchore, War & Peace?
I would think the best bet out of that lot is Chas & Dave.
Also conspicuous by it's absence is any mention of "Your Lads"
Thanks for the entertainment, I had a few good chuckles at that lot.

[BAZZABAGGIES]

Dont worry I can take a joke.

[sharrowblade]

Quality

They're a reight pair of legs.


_________________
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sharrowblade/sets
A Sheffield United Programme guide