How collectors treat each other these days |
View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
TheMusic
Joined: 13 Aug 2011 Posts: 533
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 10:32 am
Post subject: How collectors treat each other these days |
|
|
This weekend I had a bad experience on a Facebook collectors group when I was treated unfairly (in my opinion) by an admin and then on raising it with another one, had to put up with a refusal to explain the insults and basically see a closing of ranks - instead he decided to kick me out!
Well, that's fine and we're probably better off without each other if that's how they deal with polite complaints about admin behaviour, but this was the first time it had happened to me and it got me thinking - has social media just made poor behaviour within the hobby more prevalent and public, or has the way football memorabilia collectors treat each other actually become worse over the years?
Another example has struck me when you see sellers offering items with set prices on forums or social media and a buyer simply writes "take". Is it just me or is this a bit rude? Have I just missed the point at which this became the modern, accepted version of "I'd like to buy this please"? I appreciate people are busy but even so, when did at least using the word 'please' become a weakness?
And related to the above - it almost feels as if some people try to intimidate others who stand up for a minimum standard of civility, blaming them for taking offence at an insult or for not agreeing with them, when they might be better served trying to understand how the person on the receiving end is feeling.
I don't see how the hobby can move forward if there's a widening discord between the ways people treat each other - if I was a new, young collector, why would you bother putting up with that when there are now so many other distractions, which probably are more what your mates are doing anyway? In general, is this just another case these days of the louder, boorish minority inhibiting others?
So, rant over but I'm genuinely interested in people's reasoned thoughts on this topic and what can be done to improve things (if anything should be). |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Diamond Matt
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 Posts: 169
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:02 pm
Post subject: |
|
|
Totally agree that the reply of 'take' is incredibly rude and have seen this very often recently by a certain member of the groups. It wouldn't event take a second longer to reply with 'yes please' |
|
Back to top |
|
|
manchesterunitedman1
Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Posts: 3332 Location: United Kingdom
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:56 pm
Post subject: Re: How collectors treat each other these days |
|
|
TheMusic wrote: |
This weekend I had a bad experience on a Facebook collectors group when I was treated unfairly (in my opinion) by an admin and then on raising it with another one, had to put up with a refusal to explain the insults and basically see a closing of ranks - instead he decided to kick me out!
Well, that's fine and we're probably better off without each other if that's how they deal with polite complaints about admin behaviour, but this was the first time it had happened to me and it got me thinking - has social media just made poor behaviour within the hobby more prevalent and public, or has the way football memorabilia collectors treat each other actually become worse over the years?
Another example has struck me when you see sellers offering items with set prices on forums or social media and a buyer simply writes "take". Is it just me or is this a bit rude? Have I just missed the point at which this became the modern, accepted version of "I'd like to buy this please"? I appreciate people are busy but even so, when did at least using the word 'please' become a weakness?
And related to the above - it almost feels as if some people try to intimidate others who stand up for a minimum standard of civility, blaming them for taking offence at an insult or for not agreeing with them, when they might be better served trying to understand how the person on the receiving end is feeling.
I don't see how the hobby can move forward if there's a widening discord between the ways people treat each other - if I was a new, young collector, why would you bother putting up with that when there are now so many other distractions, which probably are more what your mates are doing anyway? In general, is this just another case these days of the louder, boorish minority inhibiting others?
So, rant over but I'm genuinely interested in people's reasoned thoughts on this topic and what can be done to improve things (if anything should be). |
Hi Matt
I have to say that I do agree with you on this subject, in fact I think it worthwhile even mentioning the FB site and even the admin-why not?, you felt strongly enough to point it out and you are certainly not ever going back?-anyway that is for you to decide.
Manners has always been a hot topic for me and this is not the first time that I have mentioned it but to be honest I do not care, when I buy something be it a few pounds or several hundred or indeed thousands to find I get the item put into the envelope and nowt else-not even a thanks or whatever I find that damn right f@@@in rude and ignorant and I would say 80% off my mail is like that when I am receiving something.
Also, I have harped on about feedback before on ebay, for me it is a simple matter of courtesy if a transaction goes smoothly and if i do not get any response after say 2 weeks i send a polite note reminding them i left for them and that has always worked in 9 out 10 cases, yes feedback is not compulsory but in my book manners are.
_________________ Leslie Millman
Twitter: @manyuman1
To see 19,900++ original items relating to Newton Heath & Manchester Utd 1878-2023 then visit www.flickr.com/photos/manchesterunitedman1/sets to see entire uploads.
1000's more images to be uploaded, to view the latest uploads go to www.flickr.com/photos/manchesterunitedman1/
Click any images 21 MILLION views to date to the Flickr site since 2007 growing every day. New Uploads weekly. Thank You to one & all for visiting! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
New Forest
Joined: 05 Jun 2017 Posts: 148
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:14 pm
Post subject: |
|
|
I can see Leslie that you are a man who always tips someone for doing their job! Common curtesy costs nothing and nothing better than to get a 'thank you' in the post. I don't always leave feedback on eBay these days I do if like the other day I got a programme from Rumania by almost return post. What I do find is that a programme will arrive in an ordinary envelope (not BBE) with just a 2nd class stamp for which I have been charged £1.50+ I could send them a neutral feedback, but that would only involve an argument. I was once told cardboard costs money - it was the back of a cornflakes packet.
I always work on sending items the same day, even as it will involve a 30 minute walk to and from the Post Office. I always use broad-backed envelopes and have weighted it before hand. Inside is a cellophane cover of some sort. I expect the same. How many times do I get positive feedback, less than a quarter
Could the Admin move these postings to the grumpy old man's area. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
PompeyPhil
Joined: 24 May 2014 Posts: 327
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:24 pm
Post subject: |
|
|
I think it’s been mentioned before somewhere on this site.......it costs very little time and effort just to say Thank you, whether following a purchase or making an enquiry regarding an item. Unfortunately Sad though it maybe it seems to be a sad reflection of today’s “I’m too busy” society. 🙁 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
manchesterunitedman1
Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Posts: 3332 Location: United Kingdom
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:49 pm
Post subject: |
|
|
Could the Admin move these postings to the grumpy old man's area.
I do not subscribe to the fact that asking for a courtesy or manners HAS to be some older guy who has values other than those under 40 do not, Manners maketh the man no matter what your age!
Also and most importantly the originator of this post is a young guy probably in his 30's and the treatment he received was unacceptable.
Facebook collectors sites have a lot of good people but they also have an enourmous amount of tossers who have no clue and think the shite they have from the 80's is worth more than the paper it is printed on, like some imbecile offering an Everton home league programme from 1987 at £299.99 with no signatures on or anything else. Total and utter wankers-there I have said it and I promised myself I would not resort to that language, but the fact is this is what we all think anyway, don't we!
Anyway, must dash need to remind some ignorant arse about something or other
_________________ Leslie Millman
Twitter: @manyuman1
To see 19,900++ original items relating to Newton Heath & Manchester Utd 1878-2023 then visit www.flickr.com/photos/manchesterunitedman1/sets to see entire uploads.
1000's more images to be uploaded, to view the latest uploads go to www.flickr.com/photos/manchesterunitedman1/
Click any images 21 MILLION views to date to the Flickr site since 2007 growing every day. New Uploads weekly. Thank You to one & all for visiting! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Auchinleckian Forum Moderator
Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 4352
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:55 pm
Post subject: |
|
|
Agree with a lot of what's said here.
The thing about "take" is, I believe, driven by people who are constantly tuned into their computer or whatever, and as soon as something comes up they hit the quickest response possible to get in, in front of others who might say "yes please" I agree it's not great, but language evolves constantly, lol (!)
My own particular rant is about those Facebook sites where folk post things like "tomorrow's game programme for sale" even before it's sent to the ground, and then hefty mark ups added so folk are paying at least double what the thing's worth. I run a Scottish non league Facebook site where this is frowned upon as a lot of the site members are more than happy to pick up programmes at cost price to help fellow collectors. Folk are right, courtesy doesn't cost anything.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1460380410929222/?ref=bookmarks |
|
Back to top |
|
|
bigearl79
Joined: 03 Nov 2013 Posts: 440
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 2:14 pm
Post subject: |
|
|
I'm 39 and always say please and thank-you, and generally try to be polite to everyone. I have no reason not to be polite and neither should 99% of us all. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
TheMusic
Joined: 13 Aug 2011 Posts: 533
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 2:41 pm
Post subject: |
|
|
@ Leslie, I've kept most of the correspondence and could name and shame but where is it going to get me? I'm not in the habit of making enemies (hence why I like to think I don't act like this admin did), so initially feeling like I shouldn't be accepting that treatment, I may as well now opt for safety and avoid a slanging match.
Instead, I though maybe it's better to mention what I encountered in a way that we have a wider debate, i.e. it's a pity to see it become visible in our hobby too and is there anything that can be done. My experience here was obviously a specific case but other posters have mentioned what they see, e.g. a basic lack of courtesy in the sales process, and all these various cases seem to be examples of a bigger social shift in what is or isn't acceptable behaviour towards others. To be honest, reading some threads, I'm at a loss as to what is or isn't acceptable these days... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Five and In
Joined: 15 Sep 2015 Posts: 1410 Location: Dawlish, Devon
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 3:50 pm
Post subject: How collectors treat each other these days |
|
|
I agree with what has been said already.
Please and thank you are so simple to use, but so many on social media have no concept of either sadly.
I don't think it's just a collectors thing though.
I just believe it's how the world has changed over the years.
Is it any different to somebody in a shop queue just handing over their cash while not interrupting their mobile phone conversation to speak to the member of staff serving them?
Facebook groups in general are a nightmare.
I have pulled out of many where it was too easy for a big brave keyboard warrior to hurl abuse with no intelligence.
One group (non selling) that I belong to is all about historical football photos from the 70's & 80's and the content and conversations are brilliant.
Sadly there are a few that can only comment "crap", "wanker" or the like when they see a photo of a great player that didn't play for their team. Luckily, they usually get ignored, but it's a shame they can't appreciate like the rest of us. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
sharrowblade, 6 hours, 5 minutes ago
RIKERBCFC, 13 hours, 10 minutes ago
Dorking, 13 hours, 22 minutes ago
grantham, 1 day, 8 hours ago
Enniskillendoc, 1 day, 10 hours ago
James, 1 day, 10 hours ago
Raxfactor, 1 day, 11 hours ago
Raxfactor, 1 day, 11 hours ago
ndg1860, 1 day, 11 hours ago
colchestersid, 1 day, 11 hours ago
Raxfactor, 1 day, 12 hours ago
Pete’s Picture Palace, 2 days, 3 hours ago
Martin1963, 2 days, 7 hours ago
ndg1860, 2 days, 8 hours ago
PhilWBA, 2 days, 9 hours ago
Flaming Pie, 2 days, 11 hours ago
slightfold, 2 days, 11 hours ago
CAFC 1947, 2 days, 17 hours ago
Flaming Pie, 2 days, 17 hours ago
CAFC 1947, 2 days, 18 hours ago
DerbyCounter, 2 days, 18 hours ago
Dorking, 4 days, 14 hours ago
Dorking, 4 days, 15 hours ago
colchestersid, 4 days, 19 hours ago
Raxfactor, 5 days, 13 hours ago
Cpfc jim, 5 days, 13 hours ago
Raxfactor, 5 days, 13 hours ago
Cpfc jim, 5 days, 14 hours ago
grantham, 1 week ago
Pablo2019, 1 week ago
Dorking, 1 week ago
grantham, 1 week ago
seandel1, 1 week ago
Thedoog10, 1 week, 1 day ago
colchestersid, 1 week, 1 day ago
kenners46, 1 week, 1 day ago
Thedoog10, 1 week, 1 day ago
colchestersid, 1 week, 2 days ago
Spireitenag1955, 1 week, 2 days ago
siddy, 1 week, 2 days ago
DerbyCounter, 1 week, 2 days ago
grantham, 1 week, 3 days ago
pafcprogs, 1 week, 3 days ago
pafcprogs, 1 week, 3 days ago
Flaming Pie, 1 week, 3 days ago
Cpfc jim, 1 week, 3 days ago
FootballShirts24, 1 week, 4 days ago
gatfb, 1 week, 4 days ago
Cpfc jim, 1 week, 4 days ago
grantham, 1 week, 5 days ago |
|
11,648
Members
10,148
Members Wants
39
Members Mini-Stores
4,227
Members Items for Sale
|
|
|