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How collectors treat each other these days
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How collectors treat each other these days

 
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TheMusic



Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Posts: 470

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 10:32 am 
Post subject: How collectors treat each other these days
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This weekend I had a bad experience on a Facebook collectors group when I was treated unfairly (in my opinion) by an admin and then on raising it with another one, had to put up with a refusal to explain the insults and basically see a closing of ranks - instead he decided to kick me out!

Well, that's fine and we're probably better off without each other if that's how they deal with polite complaints about admin behaviour, but this was the first time it had happened to me and it got me thinking - has social media just made poor behaviour within the hobby more prevalent and public, or has the way football memorabilia collectors treat each other actually become worse over the years?

Another example has struck me when you see sellers offering items with set prices on forums or social media and a buyer simply writes "take". Is it just me or is this a bit rude? Have I just missed the point at which this became the modern, accepted version of "I'd like to buy this please"? I appreciate people are busy but even so, when did at least using the word 'please' become a weakness?

And related to the above - it almost feels as if some people try to intimidate others who stand up for a minimum standard of civility, blaming them for taking offence at an insult or for not agreeing with them, when they might be better served trying to understand how the person on the receiving end is feeling.

I don't see how the hobby can move forward if there's a widening discord between the ways people treat each other - if I was a new, young collector, why would you bother putting up with that when there are now so many other distractions, which probably are more what your mates are doing anyway? In general, is this just another case these days of the louder, boorish minority inhibiting others?

So, rant over Wink but I'm genuinely interested in people's reasoned thoughts on this topic and what can be done to improve things (if anything should be). Sherlock
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Diamond Matt



Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Posts: 167

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:02 pm 
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Totally agree that the reply of 'take' is incredibly rude and have seen this very often recently by a certain member of the groups. It wouldn't event take a second longer to reply with 'yes please'
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manchesterunitedman1



Joined: 17 Jan 2010
Posts: 2663
Location: Manchester

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:56 pm 
Post subject: Re: How collectors treat each other these days
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TheMusic wrote:
This weekend I had a bad experience on a Facebook collectors group when I was treated unfairly (in my opinion) by an admin and then on raising it with another one, had to put up with a refusal to explain the insults and basically see a closing of ranks - instead he decided to kick me out!

Well, that's fine and we're probably better off without each other if that's how they deal with polite complaints about admin behaviour, but this was the first time it had happened to me and it got me thinking - has social media just made poor behaviour within the hobby more prevalent and public, or has the way football memorabilia collectors treat each other actually become worse over the years?

Another example has struck me when you see sellers offering items with set prices on forums or social media and a buyer simply writes "take". Is it just me or is this a bit rude? Have I just missed the point at which this became the modern, accepted version of "I'd like to buy this please"? I appreciate people are busy but even so, when did at least using the word 'please' become a weakness?

And related to the above - it almost feels as if some people try to intimidate others who stand up for a minimum standard of civility, blaming them for taking offence at an insult or for not agreeing with them, when they might be better served trying to understand how the person on the receiving end is feeling.

I don't see how the hobby can move forward if there's a widening discord between the ways people treat each other - if I was a new, young collector, why would you bother putting up with that when there are now so many other distractions, which probably are more what your mates are doing anyway? In general, is this just another case these days of the louder, boorish minority inhibiting others?

So, rant over Wink but I'm genuinely interested in people's reasoned thoughts on this topic and what can be done to improve things (if anything should be). Sherlock



Hi Matt

I have to say that I do agree with you on this subject, in fact I think it worthwhile even mentioning the FB site and even the admin-why not?, you felt strongly enough to point it out and you are certainly not ever going back?-anyway that is for you to decide.


Manners has always been a hot topic for me and this is not the first time that I have mentioned it but to be honest I do not care, when I buy something be it a few pounds or several hundred or indeed thousands to find I get the item put into the envelope and nowt else-not even a thanks or whatever I find that damn right [email protected]@@in rude and ignorant and I would say 80% off my mail is like that when I am receiving something.


Also, I have harped on about feedback before on ebay, for me it is a simple matter of courtesy if a transaction goes smoothly and if i do not get any response after say 2 weeks i send a polite note reminding them i left for them and that has always worked in 9 out 10 cases, yes feedback is not compulsory but in my book manners are.




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New Forest



Joined: 05 Jun 2017
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:14 pm 
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I can see Leslie that you are a man who always tips someone for doing their job! Common curtesy costs nothing and nothing better than to get a 'thank you' in the post. I don't always leave feedback on eBay these days I do if like the other day I got a programme from Rumania by almost return post. What I do find is that a programme will arrive in an ordinary envelope (not BBE) with just a 2nd class stamp for which I have been charged £1.50+ I could send them a neutral feedback, but that would only involve an argument. I was once told cardboard costs money - it was the back of a cornflakes packet.

I always work on sending items the same day, even as it will involve a 30 minute walk to and from the Post Office. I always use broad-backed envelopes and have weighted it before hand. Inside is a cellophane cover of some sort. I expect the same. How many times do I get positive feedback, less than a quarter


Could the Admin move these postings to the grumpy old man's area.
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PompeyPhil



Joined: 24 May 2014
Posts: 320
Location: Portsmouth

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:24 pm 
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I think itís been mentioned before somewhere on this site.......it costs very little time and effort just to say Thank you, whether following a purchase or making an enquiry regarding an item. Unfortunately Sad though it maybe it seems to be a sad reflection of todayís ďIím too busyĒ society. 🙁
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manchesterunitedman1



Joined: 17 Jan 2010
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Location: Manchester

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:49 pm 
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Could the Admin move these postings to the grumpy old man's area.

I do not subscribe to the fact that asking for a courtesy or manners HAS to be some older guy who has values other than those under 40 do not, Manners maketh the man no matter what your age!

Also and most importantly the originator of this post is a young guy probably in his 30's and the treatment he received was unacceptable.

Facebook collectors sites have a lot of good people but they also have an enourmous amount of tossers who have no clue and think the shite they have from the 80's is worth more than the paper it is printed on, like some imbecile offering an Everton home league programme from 1987 at £299.99 with no signatures on or anything else. Total and utter wankers-there I have said it and I promised myself I would not resort to that language, but the fact is this is what we all think anyway, don't we!


Anyway, must dash need to remind some ignorant arse about something or other Laughing

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Auchinleckian
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Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Posts: 4095

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:55 pm 
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Agree with a lot of what's said here.

The thing about "take" is, I believe, driven by people who are constantly tuned into their computer or whatever, and as soon as something comes up they hit the quickest response possible to get in, in front of others who might say "yes please" I agree it's not great, but language evolves constantly, lol (!)

My own particular rant is about those Facebook sites where folk post things like "tomorrow's game programme for sale" even before it's sent to the ground, and then hefty mark ups added so folk are paying at least double what the thing's worth. I run a Scottish non league Facebook site where this is frowned upon as a lot of the site members are more than happy to pick up programmes at cost price to help fellow collectors. Folk are right, courtesy doesn't cost anything.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1460380410929222/?ref=bookmarks
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bigearl79



Joined: 03 Nov 2013
Posts: 420

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 2:14 pm 
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I'm 39 and always say please and thank-you, and generally try to be polite to everyone. I have no reason not to be polite and neither should 99% of us all.
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TheMusic



Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Posts: 470

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 2:41 pm 
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@ Leslie, I've kept most of the correspondence and could name and shame but where is it going to get me? I'm not in the habit of making enemies (hence why I like to think I don't act like this admin did), so initially feeling like I shouldn't be accepting that treatment, I may as well now opt for safety and avoid a slanging match.

Instead, I though maybe it's better to mention what I encountered in a way that we have a wider debate, i.e. it's a pity to see it become visible in our hobby too and is there anything that can be done. My experience here was obviously a specific case but other posters have mentioned what they see, e.g. a basic lack of courtesy in the sales process, and all these various cases seem to be examples of a bigger social shift in what is or isn't acceptable behaviour towards others. To be honest, reading some threads, I'm at a loss as to what is or isn't acceptable these days...
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Five and In



Joined: 15 Sep 2015
Posts: 947
Location: Dawlish, Devon

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 3:50 pm 
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I agree with what has been said already.
Please and thank you are so simple to use, but so many on social media have no concept of either sadly.

I don't think it's just a collectors thing though.
I just believe it's how the world has changed over the years.
Is it any different to somebody in a shop queue just handing over their cash while not interrupting their mobile phone conversation to speak to the member of staff serving them?

Facebook groups in general are a nightmare.
I have pulled out of many where it was too easy for a big brave keyboard warrior to hurl abuse with no intelligence.
One group (non selling) that I belong to is all about historical football photos from the 70's & 80's and the content and conversations are brilliant.
Sadly there are a few that can only comment "crap", "wanker" or the like when they see a photo of a great player that didn't play for their team. Luckily, they usually get ignored, but it's a shame they can't appreciate like the rest of us.
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